Ugh.
Doesn’t this gorgeous capture by Deb Saunders Photography of the glowing newlyweds being congratulated by Grandma after their wedding ceremony make your heartache?
Depending on where you live, this might be a reality for you or a current impossibility.
I can assure you, once COVID-19 doesn’t dominate our lives here in Australia and we’re all allowed to go back to doing what we love I, like thousands of other wedding vendors, can’t wait to make scenes like this a technicolour reality for couples and their families and friends as soon as I possibly can.
Weddings are going to be upheld, appreciated and cherished more than ever before.
Oh yes, times have changed.
I bet you thought this would be a great year to get married, huh?
Or maybe, being locked down or in quarantine has made you realise that your partner/housemate/cat (not a real thing) is the only one for you and there's no time like the present to get hitched.
There's no doubt about it; our world as we knew it has been thrown upside down since March 2020. Your work, study, social plans, workout routine, family life, almost everything has undergone a seismic shift almost overnight.
It’s quite surreal.. still.
While I don't want to make light of the seriousness of this worldwide pandemic and the socio-economic devastation resulting from the spread and containment strategies of the COVID-19 coronavirus, I'm also cautiously optimistic.
When we make it through all of this, I feel like one of the more welcome side effects is the gift of perspective.
It’s like my Nanna Abb used to tell me all the time; “the most important thing is your health”. But coming second place by a nose, in a photo finish, are our relationships.
The lens through which we view our very existence has come into sharp focus. In the current environment, what once seemed so crucial mightn’t be as important anymore, and likewise, what you might've been taking for granted could now be screaming for your attention.
If you were planning on getting married, and your plans have been put on pause I'm really sorry. I know that you’re feeling lost, devastated, angry, sad and ALL THE FEELINGS right now.
But chin up, gorgeous.
Even with no definitive date of when life will go back to normal, there are ways to move forward, put some backups in place and make some progress in the meantime.
So let’s get stuck into it!
1) FIRST UP, YOUR HEALTH
Your very first focus needs to be inwards; to your own health and that of those you love.
My best friend loves wine, me and the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”.
Many people, including most of the wedding, hospitality, travel, events and live performance industries, have already lost their jobs or are experiencing a sharp and substantial decline in income due to the knock-on effects of government health policies and restrictions to reduce the community transmission of COVID-19.
So before anything else, we must ensure, more than ever right now, that our own needs are being met for shelter, food, mental and general health and well being.
And then, once your own ‘house’ is in order, it’s time to look outwards to what we are (and aren’t) ethically and legally allowed to do in regards to weddings.
2) THE LAW & WEDDINGS
While there are rapidly changing and varying levels of public health-led restrictions in place (for good reason) depending on which country you're in and what level of containment is currently necessary (Australia, United States of America, Canada, United Kingdom) there are still opportunities to start putting plans in place for your wedding.
For weddings in Australia, please refer to the government health websites for the most up to date information:
3) ASSESSING YOUR CURRENT SITUATION
Now you need to make some notes. You can make a copy of this spreadsheet and fill it out to keep you on track.
Ask yourselves:
What is set in stone (i.e. agreed in a written/implied contract or terms with your wedding suppliers/vendors), and
What can be postponed, rescheduled, shuffled or tweaked to suit the current/future situation (a promise made to/with your future in-laws, your family or friends or other non-contractual plans that you might have)?
And then:
What are our cutoff dates i.e. when your contracts tell you that you'll lose all payments if you postpone/cancel & chat with your vendors about their willingness to reschedule, if there will be payment of extra fees and how much notice they need; work together for the best outcome.
4) WHAT ARE OUR OPTIONS?
From here it’s time to make a decision which way you want to go:
a) Postpone your wedding for another date later this year or next year.
If postponing is something you’re considering, you can still have your big day just like you planned, but later.
Under many wedding supplier/vendor’s contracts, depending on the lead-time, a change of date or postponement may be treated as a change of mind or cancellation. This would mean that booking fees are considered non-refundable or transferrable to another date.
Before you make a decision about postponing your wedding, check your contract or terms and conditions carefully. In these circumstances, maintaining clear written communication and respect on both sides is the best way to go; remember, you want to keep a great working relationship with everyone.
Please keep in mind that, as many suppliers have already started taking bookings for next year their availability for Saturdays in Spring and Summer could be very limited.
So, although a little unconventional, Unbridely strongly recommends that couples consider postponing to a date that isn't a Saturday.
And there are some serious benefits if you choose to go this way.
Choosing a day that’s not a Saturday gives you a much better chance of securing the highest number of your original wedding vendors for your new date which will save you loads of time trying to find new suppliers/vendors and a fair chunk of money too (in forfeited booking fees/part payments).
Using a polling platform like Doodle can help you to find a new mutually agreeable date that works for you and your major suppliers quickly and easily without a hundred emails.
b) Postpone without choosing a new date just yet.
Given that we don't know if in 3, 6 or 12 months from now everything will be back to normal or not, some couples are choosing to press pause on their wedding plans until there’s a little more certainty.
Again, the key is to communicate your thoughts early and in writing to your wedding suppliers and discuss how willing they are to transfer your original booking to a new, as yet not confirmed, wedding date and how any payments you’ve already made will be handled.
The success of this approach is all about relationships; respect and clear communication are key.
c) Have your legal marriage ceremony on your original wedding date, with a commitment ceremony and wedding reception celebration later.
If getting legally married ASAP with your two witnesses and just a handful of your closest family and friends is your priority, then that can happen too.
Some couples are opting to tie the knot on their original wedding date with a live stream for their extended family and friends watching live or they’re hiring a professional videographer to capture and deliver a professionally edited video to share and enjoy afterwards.
This is an excellent solution for engaged couples with a lot of interstate or overseas wedding guests who are unable to travel at this time due to COVID-19 restrictions.
Then, knowing the legal side of things is done, you can just relax and enjoy the reception and public celebration at another time in the future.
I asked some of the Unbridely Suppliers, pro Australian wedding vendors that have first-hand knowledge and years of experience, for their tips and insight into how to make the most of this unusual time and get a jump on your wedding planning.
If your wedding is planned for this year..
“Communicate as early and as clearly as you can with your wedding suppliers and be as open and flexible as possible. Choosing a date to reschedule before you’ve checked with them might mean that they’re unavailable and you may lose money in booking fees, non-refundable part payments or cancellation fees.”
Kiera Blanden Events + Styling
“Even just asking your wedding suppliers how they are going makes all the difference. Also, when a past bride shouts out to their suppliers on their socials, sends you some professional photos, or leaves a nice review, it means more than anything. It all gives us the motivation we need to fight for our businesses and keep doing what we love, even if we don't know exactly when we can again.”
“If you decide to reschedule, consider a weekday wedding as a lower stress/priced alternative.”
If your wedding is going to be next year..
“I'd love to encourage couples to keep planning and to book for next year. Even though many suppliers will be busy trying to accommodate this year’s postponements, we can still help them to have the wedding they want. You may need to be a little more flexible, like considering a Friday or a Sunday date, for example, to get it happening around the time you want.”
“My couples often tell me that they struggle to find time to research their wedding ideas and look for suppliers online. Now lots of people have extra time at home, so get Googling people!”
“If you have booked your suppliers and you’re able, I’d like to suggest making a few extra payments or a payment plan now to help your vendors through this tough period.”
“SHOP LOCALLY for those extra bits and pieces. Stationery, wedding dress designers, accessories, ask your florist to use locally grown flower wholesalers, choose a venue that supports local wineries and brewers etc.”
Natasha Keneally Hair & Makeup Artist
“Be patient. Be kind. We love your love, we sacrifice in our own lives, for your love, to be there for your love and to celebrate your love. We look forward to your weddings, we are sad when the day is done. Some of us have built our whole lives around doing this because it makes our hearts sing, it’s our purpose. So please remember that we are not just a contract and a booking fee. We are human and we love your love and we love love.”
