So you're trying to work out if you are going to invite that couple you used to be friends with. 

You went to their wedding, so it's only decent that you invite them to yours, right? 

Well, not necessarily..

Drafting, culling, discussing, negotiating and generally agonising over who to invite to your wedding is most certainly in the top 5 most stressful parts of the planning process. Whether it's your parents wanting to add their old friends who you haven't seen since you were 5 or your bridesmaid who insists that her new boyfriend of 2 weeks is 'the one', there will always be someone who will want to have their say on who you should (and shouldn't) be adding to the guest list.

But as with all things in modern weddings, unless a parent or very wealthy friend is paying for your entire wedding, the final decision rests with you and your fiancé.

 

Fairly early on in their planning, many couples discover what I call 'the ripple effect'.

Most families consist of a core, or immediate, family, the grandparents and then extended family (aunties, uncles and cousins). But further to that, there are your friends - some of which you would see every few days and others that you may only catch up with once or twice a year (or less). 

The ripple effect can cause issues when you consider inviting only one or two people from a particular group - like your work colleagues, for example. Once you invite one, you have to invite them all, yes? There is no doubt that drawing a definite line between the 'ripples' or circles of friends can make your decision making more clear, both to yourselves and your guests. But it is also a slippery slope.

A delightful and low-key 30 person celebration, can very quickly escalate into an 80+ guest hoedown.

We hope that our wedding guest list tester will help you to separate the guests you truly want to share your big day with and those who you would prefer to have a BBQ with later on.

Best of luck!
 

We'd love to hear about other ways to trim your guest list. Let us know in the comments if you have any special tricks or tips!

 

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