There must be hundreds, if not thousands, of late wedding RSVP memes. And it depends on what side of the joke you’re on, the inviter or the invitee, as to how funny you find them.
“PLEASE RSVP or bring a sandwich and a chair.”
But the stereotype of guests ‘forgetting’ to let the couple know if they’re able to attend their wedding is common for a reason.
One of the most trying tasks of wedding planning is getting your guests to RSVP to your invitation.
We know that it shouldn’t be difficult; you ask if someone would like to attend your wedding and they reply yes or no before you need to chase them up, but it’s rarely as straightforward as that.
And, when some of your closest family and friends miss your wedding RSVP date, don’t communicate their needs or sometimes, suggest bringing uninvited guests, it can feel hurtful and disrespectful and often, delays the progress of your timeline too.
Collecting your wedding invitation RSVPs is a critical element of planning a cost-effective and well-organised wedding. When you know your final numbers and other guest requirements on time it's easier for your venue manager, wedding planner or caterer to make provisions for seats, food, and beverages.
This saves you from any unnecessary headaches and costs that come when you over or under-estimate your guest numbers or the confirmation comes too late.
These ‘per person’ purchases also extend to decor elements like napkins, tablecloths, table numbers and centrepieces and can affect the timing of printing or production of seating charts, escort cards, wedding favours and order of ceremony booklets.
So how much time should you give your wedding guests to RSVP?
And how do you make it easier to get your family and friends to RSVP?
In this article, we’ll answer all your wedding RSVP questions and share 5 smart secrets to get timely replies from your guests.
But first up, it’s important to know about Save the Dates, as your decision to use them, or not, will change your timelines for sending your wedding invitations and also the likelihood of your guests replying in time.
*Unbridely is sponsored by its readers. When you purchase products or services through links on our website, we may earn an affiliate commission.*
What are Save The Dates?
A Save The Date is how you communicate to your guests that you’ve set your wedding date and that they will be invited in due course. Usually a posted card or an email, only the confirmed details are communicated at this early stage of your wedding planning.
Generally, only your wedding date, sometimes a location/venue, and the recipient’s names are added with a note that the official/formal invitation will follow.
When should I send Save The Dates?
Save the Dates are commonly sent to wedding guests between 9-12 months prior to the wedding date.
This advance notice allows your family and friends the opportunity to block out your wedding date and sometimes also the dates around it for travel or other celebrations like the bucks party, hens night, rehearsal dinner or post-wedding gatherings.
When should I send my wedding invitations?
Ideally, your wedding invitations should be posted, emailed or distributed within 7-8 weeks before your big day and 10-12 weeks for destination weddings. This allows your wedding guests enough time to decide whether they will be available and to book in travel, accommodation and babysitting, if necessary.
If you haven’t sent out Save The Dates prior to your wedding invitations, you may want to keep to the 10-12 week destination wedding timeline to increase the likelihood of your family and friends being able to attend while still attending to their other commitments.
It’s also worth noting that standard posting times for local, interstate and international mail have experienced significant delays in the last 2 years. If you are planning on posting hardcopy wedding invitations with rsvp cards, add an extra week to your calculations to account for any delays in postage times.
What does RSVP mean?
R.S.V.P. is an abbreviation of the French phrase “répondez s'il vous plaît” which means “please reply”. Essentially, it’s an instruction on your all in one wedding invitation, RSVP card or digital RSVP that tells your guests how and when you want them to let you know if they’re able to attend your wedding.
How long to give guests to RSVP?
Setting your RSVP wedding date, or the latest date you want your guests to communicate if they can attend your wedding, will depend on whether:
your venue is a long way for your guests to travel, or
you’re hosting a destination wedding, or
your guests have children and they need to arrange for someone to look after/babysit them, and
you post (hardcopy via the mail) your wedding invitations with RSVP card or use a wedding website with digital RSVPs, and
if you’ve already sent Save the Dates.
There’s a lot to consider, yes?
When should the RSVP date be?
Generally, your wedding RSVP date should be 3-4 weeks after you send out your invitations. This will mean that you know your final numbers 4 weeks prior to your wedding date.
The majority of wedding venues, caterers and vendors, where their products/services and therefore fees are largely dependant on the number of guests, have a 4 week/1 month cut-off date for advising your final numbers. So be sure you check your contracts or terms and conditions before you set your RSVP.
Even with all this forethought and planning there will always be a handful of guests who don’t respond on time and that’s when you’ll need to chase them. Obviously, this is the last thing you want to be doing in the leadup to your wedding day so below are Unbridely’s 5 Smart Secrets for Timely Replies;
1. Use a digital RSVP
A digital RSVP is an effective way to get people to reply to your invitation quickly.
Unlike the traditional method of sharing hard copy RSVP cards via the post office, an online invitation and digital RSVP gets shared instantly online—straight into your guests' email. And this eliminates the wasted time and costs associated with using the post office and increases convenience for your guests and you.
Moreover, your digital RSVP isn't limited to emails alone. You can also share the RSVP link via other digital channels, like your wedding website. And with this, it's easier for your guests to reply too.
Ultimately, a digital RSVP will reduce your wedding invitation response times more than a traditional wedding invitation with RSVP cards.
2. Use cues on your wedding invitation RSVP card
An excellent way to get speedy replies from your guests is to use specific directions on your wedding invitations with RSVP cards. Clearly communicate what you want them to do next when they receive the your wedding invitation.
Simple cues such as:
"Tick the accept/decline box and return in the pre-stamped & addressed RSVP envelope," or
"reply to this mail to RSVP," or
"visit our website to RSVP"
can make all the difference in how many of your wedding guests RSVP on time.
Alternatively, you can make the prompts fun and tongue-in-cheek:
"RSVP or bring a sandwich"
“Wouldn't Miss It / Will Forever Regret This Decision”
“Be There With Bells On!”/”Will Not Be There - I heard there will be people wearing bells”
“Excitement Meter 0-11”.
Remember, the clearer and easier the process, the faster you’ll get responses from your guests. Thus, using specific and sometimes humorous directions on your RSVP card helps to get quicker replies.
3. Provide guests with multiple RSVP options
In this way, everyone has an option that works for them.
For most people, an RSVP text may be easier than an email. And for less tech-savvy family and friends, a wedding invitation with RSVP card may be more familiar.
Offering several different ways to RSVP for your wedding will encourage your guests to reply ASAP in a way that’s most convenient for them.
For an improved response rate, an email, a number to text, and/or a link to your wedding website are some of the best options you can offer your guests.
4. Create automated prompts
Understanding that your guests lead busy lives too and that, as much as they love you, your wedding may not be their number 1 priority, some will accidentally forget to respond to your wedding invitation.
An automated prompt makes it easy and not too pushy or uncomfortable to follow up with your family and friends. This means that you get your answer on time and your guests don’t feel pressured either.
Adding a simple on-screen prompt to your wedding website or invitation email is an efficient way to gently remind your guests to reply ASAP.
5. Set a padded RSVP wedding deadline
Having no RSVP wedding date means that your guests won’t feel a sense of urgency to reply.
This can translate into feeling relaxed about having plenty of time and some will forget to respond at all. Sadly, if they don’t reply, your wedding arrangements and confirmations will be delayed, possibly incurring extra costs and unnecessary charges for you too.
A padded RSVP wedding deadline is a great way to improve your response rates.
When you know the latest date you’re able to find out your final guest numbers add an extra week (or 2 for destination weddings) and communicate the padded deadline (on your wedding RSVP cards or on your wedding website) to your family and friends.
This will help you buy you some extra time to followup any last-minute guests and keep your stress levels down.
Final Thoughts
Getting your guests to RSVP to your wedding invitation may feel challenging and a little frustrating at times, but it isn't mission impossible.
To save you heartache from second-guessing people’s motives, your default presumption needs to be that people are busy. And even though you are planning your wedding and thinking about it often, the truth is that most people aren't.
However, you can encourage them to respond in a timely way to your RSVP with the help of the strategies mentioned in this article via a digital RSVP or more traditional wedding invitations with RSVP.
Let us know how you go in the comments below!
